A heartfelt thank you to everyone who joined our live workshop yesterday!
It was a gift to share that quiet, supportive container with you as we explored our internal landscapes together.
If you weren’t able to join us live, you can listen to the recording on our podcast this coming Monday: Listen to the Creative Journey Podcast
Have you ever had a moment where life felt truly good, only to find yourself suddenly worrying about a problem that hasn’t happened yet?
Perhaps you felt a sudden tightening in your chest or a restless “itch” in your hands just as you were starting to relax.
This is often a sign that you have reached what we call your “Upper Limit.”
“Our capacity for joy is like a vessel; if we do not intentionally stretch the walls of that vessel, the overflow will feel like a threat rather than a blessing.”
— Coach Kaila (inspired by the work of Gay Hendricks)
This means that joy is not just a feeling, but a physical experience that our nervous system must be able to hold.
If our baseline has been survival or high stress, “feeling good” can actually feel vulnerable or dangerous to our survival brain.
Understanding the Upper Limit
Many of us live with a subconscious “Joy Thermostat” that dictates how much happiness we are allowed to feel.
When we exceed that level, our internal alarm system—the amygdala—triggers a “pull back” to bring us down to a familiar level of stress.
This often shows up through three specific internal parts:
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The Inner Critic: Uses shame to tell you that you don’t deserve this peace or that you’re being “lazy.”
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The Inner Protector: Uses fear to keep you in “warrior mode,” convinced that if you are too happy, you’ll be blindsided by tragedy.
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The Perfectionist: Keeps you from the “danger” of satisfaction by fixating on tiny, insignificant mistakes.
We have been trained to believe that stress is a productive state, making peace feel like a lack of preparation.
Your body might misinterpret the high energy of joy as the high energy of a threat.
Your Tool for Staying Centered
To teach your nervous system that it can handle the “high voltage” of happiness without blowing a fuse, try this simple somatic anchor.
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Settle: Bring your awareness to the points of contact between your body and your chair.
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Support: Feel the steady, solid support of the floor pressing up into your feet.
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Breathe: Notice the sensation of the air entering your body; observe if it feels cool or warm.
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Tone: On your exhale, make a low, steady “Voo” or “Mmm” sound—like a hum of deep satisfaction.
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Feel: Focus on the physical vibration in your lips, throat, and chest as it calms your Vagus nerve.
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Repeat: Do this three times, letting your weight drop five percent deeper into that support with every breath.
This Week’s Homework: The Joy Thermostat
Twice a day, stop and perform an “Enoughness Audit” by asking your body:
“On a scale of 1–10, how much joy or peace am I allowing myself to feel right now?”
If you find you are at a 4, notice where you feel that limit in your body—is it a knot in the stomach or a weight on the shoulders?
See if you can nudge it up to a 5 for just 30 seconds by taking a deep breath and telling your body: “We are safe to arrive.”
Join the Conversation
If you want more daily guidance and somatic tips, please join me on Facebook as we continue the conversation: Join the Creative Guidance Community
Save the Date: Join us on January 21st at 2:00 PM Eastern for our next workshop: Worthy Without Working.
We will be learning how to uncouple your self-worth from your to-do list and find peace between tasks.
With warmth and presence,
Coach Kaila